Top Ten Funny Quotes

1. "Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!"
   Short and funny quote by, Homer J Simpson.
   
   
   
2. "When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car"
   Short funny quotes, Unknown.
   
   
   
3. "I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house."
   Short funny quotes by, Zsa Zsa Gabor
   
   
   
4. "I remmember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof."
   Short and funny quotes, Rodney Dangerfield
   
   
   
5. "People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world," Calvin.
   
   
   
6. "Isn't your pants' zipper supposed to be in the front?" Hobbes.
   Short and funny quotes, Calvin and Hobbes.
   
   
   
7. "Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality."
   Short and funny quote by, Clifton Fadiman.
   
   
   
8. "Never stand between a dog and the hydrant."
   Short Funny Quote by, John Peers.
   
   
   
9. "You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax, tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough."
   - Short and funny quote by, Pearl Williams.
   
   
   
10. "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh man....I could be eating a slow learner."
    Short and funny quote by, Lyndon B. Johnson.
    
    
    
11. "He's so optimistic he'd buy a burial suit with two pairs of pants."
    Short and funny quote by, Chuck Tanner.